Sunday, February 13, 2011

Requiem For A Toilet

A few years ago, I was listening to "Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me" on NPR, when a story about intelligent Japanese toilets came up (no, you DON'T want to know!). Roy Blount, Jr. made a keen observation:

"It seems to me if a toilet got too intelligent it'd QUIT!"

Those of us who toil endlessly for the mere pittance required for survival in this world are a lot like 'toil'ets - getting the leavings of big corporations and grateful for the work. Humanity is far more precious than that.

There ARE some benefits to being a toilet. First and foremost, it's SAFE. You know exactly what your function is - you might not LIKE the job, but at least it's a known quantity. You don't really want for anything - plenty of water and (used) food - you have your own room (well, you have to share it with Sink and Bathtub, but they don't cause much trouble) - you're securely bolted to the floor until your usefulness has been exhausted, at which time you'll be uprooted and buried in a landfill.

But when the bulldozer rolls over you, there will be no requiem. No one will come to your final resting place and say, "What a FINE toilet he was! He will be missed...". No - you'll just be replaced with a new toilet, while you molder in your grave, unremembered.

Life is too precious to be treated in such a thoughtless and uncaring way. Better to sustain yourself by farming - at least, when you put shit on THAT, something will grow! Love of money and fear of the unknown relegates most of us to a demeaning existence devoid of value and meaning. Even those 'in charge' are slaves to the system they promulgate.

We were never meant for this. Each of us yearns for something greater and more valuable than what we have now - something that no amount of money can buy, nor can it ever be taken away. Some turn to religion, but that's just another corporation - and you're still a toilet.

Be an intelligent toilet - QUIT!

No comments:

Post a Comment