Existence

Existence freaks me out sometimes. I become hyper-aware of my own self-awareness. When I think about the vastness of space, and how much of what we consider to be solid IS space, I begin to lose touch with my body. I feel as if I'm going to die right then and there - and that's when the panic sets in. I've recently come across the phrase "runaway amygdala", and it 's
appropriate. Adrenalin starts pumping - heart starts racing - physical sensations become skewed. When I reach for something, it feels as if my hand isn't in the right place - as if my brain's body map has become disoriented. I feel as if I'm going to disintegrate...
This is a full-blown panic anxiety attack - and it's not pleasant. The egoic self perceives a threat to its existence, and calls up the physical resources it thinks it needs to survive. Of course, there's no external threat - some physical or psychological trigger has initiated this sequence of events from within - but the brain doesn't differentiate between internal and external threats it perceives. It just knows there's a threat, and the body must be mobilized for 'fight or flight' response.
Our sense of self is bound to our physical bodies. We don't trust that the consciousness can exist intact outside of our bodies. We might believe it can - or HOPE it can - but unless you've experienced a safe out-of-body experience, you can't be 100% certain that you don't need a physical body to be 'alive'.
Fear of death is said to be 'natural' - the self seeks to maintain its integrity above all other concerns. If humanity could truly understand that the body is NOT the exclusive expression of being, much of the fear in our world would dissipate...
...and I could stop taking meds.